Grace
by Aly130
Summary: He left me to deal alone with two children, and it almost killed me. But when he came back, I welcomed him with open arms, because I couldn't stop loving him. Jasper/Bella


A little one-shot that just came in my mind, Bella's POV. I hope you'll like it.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Twilight Saga or the characters.

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><p>He was there.<p>

He was there, standing in the doorway and staring at me. The most painful memories filled my mind again, just as they did in every day since he left me, a few years ago. He left without a word, without even knowing that I was carrying his children, that I was pregnant. I remember that I found out on the day he disappeared. For a few days, I noticed something was wrong with me, my body was acting strange. I said nothing to Jasper, I didn't want him to be worried. The day I went to the doctor – the same day he left – they told me I was pregnant. I called Jasper to tell him, but he didn't answer and when I called at his house, no one was home. It was weird.

After that, I asked my father, who was the police Chief of the town, if he knew something about the Hale family. He said that they left in the middle of the night, just quitting their jobs, without telling anything to anyone. Then I knew it was over. I knew I had lost Jasper. My heart broke but I couldn't give up because of the children that were growing inside me.

Months passed and our children were born. They were twins, a boy and a girl.

Since then, every time I look at them, I have to deal with the pain their father's memory causes to me. Because each I watch them, I have t remember his perfection and how wrong I always thought our relationship was. I have to remember that moments, when I was in his arms and I felt safe and happy, a feeling that only he could give me. And I have to remember the pain of his loss that I feel every day I have to live without him.

I always thought our relationship was wrong, because he was so perfect in every way possible and I was so imperfect compared to him. We didn't fit and I knew it. Every day I had to live with the fear that once I might find him with another girl. Until that day came. I found him kissing my best friend. That very moment killed me from the inside. He tried to explain, to tell me that it was an 'accident' but I didn't let him. I just told him I wanted to go home. He did as I asked, he drove me home. After I climbed out of the car and made my way to the house, he asked if he could stay with me for the rest of the night. I whispered him a no and was about to turn around, when he came closer. He knew what I was doing. His eyes were pleading and he was begging me to don't do this, but I would just snap at him and scream to leave me alone and that I don't want to ever see him again.

And that's exactly what he did.

He left.

Hell, he didn't leave, He just did as I asked. Though he had no idea that I didn't mean it.

And it was so him what he did.

He promised me over and over and over again that he would never, ever leave me as long as I don't want him to. I remember exactly what he used to tell me:

"_No one could ever make me leave you, not even myself. You're the only one who has this power over me. You tell you never want to see me again and next day it would be as if I never existed_"

And he wasn't the one to break a promise.

But I broke mine. I used to say there was no way in hell I would tell him to leave or that I never want to see him again. But I did tell him, without even knowing what I was doing, I was so pissed off, almost hysterical. After he finally left, I ran in the house and cried more than ever. Hours passed with crying and self-pitying, but then, I think when I didn't have tears anymore somehow sleep found me. It was the worst night in my entire life.

In ten years, a lot of things changed, but my feelings for him were the same. And I hated it. I hated _him._ I hated him because I loved him so much that I couldn't hate him and I hated him because I knew that he could leave me a hundred times and he could kill me a thousand times but I would still love him and forgive him. Even if he didn't love me, even if he hated me with all his heart, I loved him with everything I have. All these years I knew if it was that one day he would come back to me, I would be the happiest person in this world. And if it was that he would never come back to me, I would still be happy, because at least I would know he's happy.

And now he was there, looking at me, waiting for me to do something. But all I could do was just standing there and staring at him like he was the most perfect person in this world. In my eyes, that's what he always has been.

I observed him, searching for a sign that he changed in these years, at least physically, but I found nothing. He looked more mature, but that innocent playful spark was still to be found in those expressive sea blue eyes of his. The honey blond curls were falling in his eyes, just as always. His lips - which were always begging to be kissed – now where curved into that heartbreaking smile. He used to dazzle me with that smile. He was wearing the blue T-shirt I loved. I was so concentrated in staring at him that I didn't feel the tears which were falling from my eyes. He came closer and closer, until there was no distance between us. He wrapped his warm arms around me and I just leaned in his hug. I started crying in his chest as he whispered in my ear:

"You know, what happened ten years ago, it haunted me every day I had to live without you. I never meant to hurt you, I promised I will never hurt you, but I did and maybe that makes me the world's biggest a-hole, but Bella… I love you. Never doubt that."

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><p><strong>AN: **I really want to know what you think, so please don't hesitate to tell me.


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